Foolproof, can't-lose bountiful returns

Guaranteed immediate 71% return on your unlimited investments:

Here is an absolutely can't fail method for receiving $3.42 back for every two dollars you invest.

Take two one dollar bills or a pocketful of change and head to any bank. Ask the teller to sell you a crisp new two dollar bill. Use it. About half the people who accept your two dollar bill will look at you and smile. They may exclaim that it's fun and unusual to get a two dollar bill. It will be worth more than two dollars to them because of the novelty value. The joy and fun you'll receive yourself will be worth about $2.84. But only about half the people you deal with will actually give you this valuable a positive response. Others may be too busy or won't even notice. Or they may be hopelessly grouchy people. So, I've arbitrarily and conservatively reduced the $2.84 bonus value by 50%. So it comes down to this: By very simply making purchases or handing out tips with two dollar bills instead of two single dollar bills, you get an extra $2.84 of value half the time. That's an extra $1.42 on average per two dollar bill, or a 71% return per dollar.

You can dramatically increase your returns by traveling abroad. I always make it a point to pack a big bundle of two dollar bills when I head overseas. Most foreigners have never seen a two dollar bill and you're immediately guaranteed to have a fun (and sometimes skeptical) conversation.

To maximize returns, get plenty of two dollar bills. Some people don't realize that you can receive all the nice new dollar to dollar bills you like simply by visiting any bank. Then, have fun and enjoy your guaranteed returns of fun and conversation.

You can’t miss getting a great return when you carry and use two dollar bills.