Foolproof, can't-lose bountiful returns

Guaranteed immediate 71% return on your unlimited investments:

Here is an absolutely can't fail method for receiving $3.42 back for every two dollars you invest.

Take two one dollar bills or a pocketful of change and head to any bank. Ask the teller to sell you a crisp new two dollar bill. Use it. About half the people who accept your two dollar bill will look at you and smile. They may exclaim that it's fun and unusual to get a two dollar bill. It will be worth more than two dollars to them because of the novelty value. The joy and fun you'll receive yourself will be worth about $2.84. But only about half the people you deal with will actually give you this valuable a positive response. Others may be too busy or won't even notice. Or they may be hopelessly grouchy people. So, I've arbitrarily and conservatively reduced the $2.84 bonus value by 50%. So it comes down to this: By very simply making purchases or handing out tips with two dollar bills instead of two single dollar bills, you get an extra $2.84 of value half the time. That's an extra $1.42 on average per two dollar bill, or a 71% return per dollar.

You can dramatically increase your returns by traveling abroad. I always make it a point to pack a big bundle of two dollar bills when I head overseas. Most foreigners have never seen a two dollar bill and you're immediately guaranteed to have a fun (and sometimes skeptical) conversation.

To maximize returns, get plenty of two dollar bills. Some people don't realize that you can receive all the nice new dollar to dollar bills you like simply by visiting any bank. Then, have fun and enjoy your guaranteed returns of fun and conversation.

You can’t miss getting a great return when you carry and use two dollar bills.

Tattered and tarnished image? Don't let yours be!

Tattered and tarnished image? Don't let yours be!

I just took my daughter to visit two different doctors. The differences in their reception areas was startling. The implications were even more so.

In the first doctor's reception area, about a dozen magazines were scattered around on chairs. Most were tattered and for some, the covers had ripped away from their stapled bindings. None of the magazines bore a cover date within the last month. Several were from the prior year. In the corner, on a small wobbly side table, a Sony boom box provided pleasant background music. One of the antenna’s "rabbit ears" broken off and somebody had inserted a straightened-out coat hanger to repair it.

In the other doctor’s reception area, about a dozen magazines were neatly arranged on a display rack. They were all upright, the titles showed clearly, none were torn, and all were from the current month! Pleasant background music came from concealed speakers in the ceiling.

As a "customer," I noticed the striking differences in these two scenarios. You would too. Oh, you might not be thinking about noting each detail so you could make a blog entry. But you'd certainly pick up a general impression.

In the first doctor's reception area I found myself wondering, "If they can't even keep their magazines organized, I wonder if they get their blood samples mixed up too? They don't make sure they have current magazines; I wonder if their lab equipment is up-to-date? And when their $79 boom box breaks, they repair it with a coat hanger. If some $79,000 medical device breaks back in a lab area, do they patch it up with duct tape?”

The second reception room made me think that the doctor ran an organized practice, was current with her equipment, and put effort into projecting a positive first impression.

Assuming both doctors had equal clinical expertise, which would you patronize?

The very first impression any customer gains of you or your business is the most important one. If that first impression is sloppy, negative, disorganized, and shows that you don't care about customers, well, that's going to be tough to correct and probably impossible to overcome.

You're not a doctor? No reception area? What is the first point of contact for your customers? Probably a phone call.

For many businesses, callers are greeted by an automated attendant. A dreadful one. "She" may finally ask you to spell out the name of the person you wish to speak with. (This is not my preferred form of recreation.) And then you encounter a greeting that doesn’t include the name or extension number. Or, a rushed and harried receptionist may quickly put you on hold or perhaps transfer you to the wrong department.

The way you handle customer's incoming calls is directly analogous to the doctors’ reception areas. You want to present the most positive possible first impression to get things headed in the right direction.

These are some of the elements I recommend for creating a positive first phone impression:

• Answer live! Recognizing that the quality of the first impression has a lot to do with establishing early customer loyalty, it's well worth investing in truly outstanding human talent.
  
• Hire by phone. If you seek an employee who will create positive phone impressions, you must interview that person by phone. Gain your first impressions the same way that your customers will.
  
• Provide business cards for your receptionist. My favorite title: "Director of First Impressions." Give this key employee an opportunity to feel very proud of the role he or she plays in establishing an atmosphere that builds delighted and loyal customer relationships.
  
• Invest in talent. Provide your receptionist with tools and resources that will help this key individual excel at clearly communicating positive first impressions.
  When you call your office, use the "front door" rather than your special "back line." You want to experience what your customers experience, so call in on your main public number.
  
• Give your receptionist immediate feedback. If you are a manager or the CEO, make sure your receptionist knows you're paying attention and appreciate gracious and professional call handling. (You also want your receptionist to think, each time the phone rings, "This might be the CEO again! I'll make sure to project the best possible first impression.")
  You needn't be "the boss" to encourage positive phone impressions. If you're in sales, for example, your words of encouragement and appreciation to your company's receptionist or operator will help create a more favorable atmosphere for your customers so they want to buy from you!
  
• Ask colleagues to call. Get friends and associates to phone your public number and give you frank, candid accounts of their first impressions.

Always seek your most highly-leveraged opportunities to invest attention in your business. How can you invest a little bit of effort and have it impact many people who will affect your profitability? There's no better starting place than your reception area, whether that's a physical lobby or a voice greeting your incoming callers.